When I started studying Islam somewhat seriously, I listened to everyone —perennial Sufis, Salafis, Shia, and traditional scholars. For a while my favorite scholar was Bilal Philips. It took a while until I found my way and when I did I stuck with. After a year or two of going to lectures and conferences, I stopped. I still remember that day, the last day of a three day lecture conference, when I decided never again, this is it. A scholar had drawn a stick figure and erased it limb by limb to illustrate that it was illogical to say God didn’t have a body, needless to say my stomach is still turning. Before finding a path I could stick to, I suppose it was valuable to hear differing opinions, but that time has passed. I now listen to a hand full of scholars, and have done so for the past few years. A year ago was the first time I’d gone to a lecture by a shuyukh outside of my usual rotations, Shaykh Nadwi’s lecture on women Hadith scholars. But I went because he is the only scholar I know of discussing this topic, one of incredible importance to me and my research.
It’s important to learn and the only way to do so in the beginning is to learn from a diverse group of people until you find the path you’re certain about, then you travel from there. One of my teachers once put it most aptly in giving an example of two European converts, like himself, who were also seeking religious knowledge. They remarked to him in their discussion that they’d wasted so much time, they’d been getting a little bit here and a little bit there from various shuyukh and in the end they turned up empty. Sheikh Nuh compared this to an example of a man who stays in the desert digging and digging to reach water in one place compared to someone who runs about digging vain shallow holes in various places —who will get the water? The man who takes the time to dig his well in one place. A lot of us, and I suppose I’m guilty of this as well, have a lot of interests, we go to all the conferences and we watch all the lectures, we can tell you a bit about this or that but we can’t tell you about anything in depth. The classic Jack of All Trades Master of None dilemma —and maybe this is fine for most people, but for anyone who’s found a path, what’s the point?
People often warn that if you only surround yourself with those who agree with you, you’ll end up in an echo chamber. And that does happen sometimes. But there’s also a danger in constantly spending time around (or debating on social media) with people who disagree with you. Imagine being on a boat with five people who all disagree about where to go, you have to spend a great deal of time debating where you ought to go before you go there, now, if everyone is equally unsure, it’s not a big deal —you ought to talk it through in order to make the best decision. But if one or two people are certain about where they ought to go and the others are equally certain about going in a different direction, it’d probably be best if they take separate boats. And if some people are certain and others aren’t then those who are certain are still better off getting their own boat while everyone else sorts out what they want to do.
In our conversations, debate can definitely help us to sharpen our arguments but it does not help us to get where we’re going. Too often when I discuss the value of traditional women’s work, for example, I make the disclaimer that I’m talking about being forced to work not having the option of working. I make this disclaimer because I’m told that I’m devaluing women who choose to work, so I attempt to make sure everyone knows that is not what I mean but the reality is, every time I waste my breathe to make a counterargument I’m taking time away from delving deeper in to the conversation. If every time I discuss men’s responsibility to take care of their family I engage with men who argue they can’t afford to do so, I take time away from thinking about real solutions for women who wish to follow a traditional path.
The continuous back and forth is a distraction from making progress on the path one deems worthy of treading. Is debate valuable? Yes, if you want to be a professional debater but not if you’re hoping to reach your destination.
To note: I still debate at times. Sometimes purely reactionary and other times to simply engage but it’s something I’m trying, however slowly, to get away from.
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Photo by Nadine Ijewere
Consider picking up a copy of my book, 40 Hadith of ‘Aisha, An English collection of 40 Hadith narrated by the beloved wife, scholar, and sage ‘Aisha bint Abu Bakr, available here. Also, consider signing up for our monthly newsletter here: bythefigandtheolive.com/newsletter. For speaking engagements visit Nuriddeenknight.com
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