Letting go of the idea of letting go

May 18, 2015

imagePreparing to be… single?
Of course I’ve always thought and still do hope that I’ll get married one day. Of course for the relationship, love, support, children, etc. but also simply because it’s the course of the normal human life. Intimate relationships before marriage are out of the question so marriage is the only hope for the solace the other gender and creating ones own family can provide. But what if that never happens?

I’ve always felt to a degree that if marriage didn’t happen by such and such an age I’d just marry whoever was decent and in close proximity but why should I? If I don’t get married by x age (it always changes) I will certainly have to deal with some hard facts but does one of those facts have to be marrying someone just to gain the stamp of adulthood? I’d probably move out from the parents, get a proper job and try to create as much meaning in my life as possible. But should I punish myself for not being wedded and give myself away to anyone interested? That doesn’t seem like the only option or even the most obvious one. I think I have to give up on the idea that marriage as a necessity or even an ideal because if it never happens I don’t want to feel as though I’ve failed in life. Though I thought marriage would come earlier I’m certainly not old and for all I know it could be right around the corner but if it isn’t I won’t even humor the idea of throwing away any ounce of dignity for an ounce of social status.

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