Umm Salama was one of the wives of our beloved prophet, peace to him. Before her blessed marriage to the prophet, she was married to Abdullah, an early companion, and martyr in the way of God. After facing persecution in Mecca and through God’s permission the Muslims of the era left their homes in Mecca to travel to Medina. Many of the non-Muslims attempted to force their families to stay in Mecca, while many families weren’t successful, others were. As Umm Salama and her husband made their way to leave Mecca, Umm Salama’s family apprehended her and prevented her from leaving.
Before we were out of Makkah, however, some men from my clan stopped us and said to my husband: “Though you are free to do what you like with yourself, you have no power over your wife. She is our daughter. Do you expect us to allow you to take her away from us?” Then they pounced on him and snatched me away from him. My husband’s clan, Banu ‘Abd al-Asad, saw them taking me and became hot with rage. “No! By Allah” they shouted, “We shall not abandon the boy. He is our son and we have the first claim over him.” They took him by the hand and pulled him away from me.
Abu Salama had no choice but to leave his wife and son behind. She remained in Mecca for one year, while constantly begging and reasoning with them to let her go. Finally, her pleas were accepted and she, along with her young son, set out for Medina. Along the way, a man named Uthman inquired about her journey, since she was alone with a child and a long journey ahead, he decided to accompany her as protection. Umm Salama said about Uthman, “I have never seen a more generous person”.
He stayed with her until they came close to where the Muslims had settled. Upon her arrival it was announced, “Abu Salama your family is here!” Abu Salama and Umm Salama were finally reunited and able to continue their blissful union. Abu Salama and Umm Salama shared a deep bond and their marriage was one of mutual love and kindness. Once when Umm Salama and Abu Salama sat together in their home Umm Salama remembered that the prophet said, whoever is married on earth will be married in paradise. So she said to her husband, “Let’s make a pact not to remarry after death so we can be in paradise together”. Upon hearing this Abu Salama, in his mercy, love, and foresight, responded, “No, when I die, marry someone else”. He then directed his words to God and prayed, “After I’m gone bless her with someone who is better and will not make her sad or do her harm.”
Abu Salama would later die from a battle wound, leaving this earth as a martyr. On his death bed the prophet, peace to him, prayed over his body and closed his eyes stating, “When the soul is taken away the sight follows it”. As Abu Salama’s family wept the prophet, peace to him, advised them, “Do not supplicate for yourselves anything but good, for angels say, ‘Amen’ to what you say. He then said: Oh Allah, forgive Abu Salama, raise his degree among those who are rightly guided, grant him a successor in his descendants who remain. Forgive us and him, O Lord of the Universe, and make his grave spacious, and grant him light in it.
Umm Salama was deeply overcome with grief at the loss of her beloved husband. A man who she loved and suffered alongside as an early believer. They immigrated together in the first hijra (Ethiopia) and were torn away from each other when they attempted the second, she struggled in desperation to return to him, and now they separated once again in the permanency of death. What could overcome such a loss but turn to God? She held on to the words of the messenger of God who said to those in pain, “If they say, ‘From God, we come and to Him, we shall return,’ their sins will be forgiven and they are rewarded”. Umm Salama would repeat these words continuously. She would also think of Abu Salama’s dua and wonder, ‘Who could be better than Abu Salama?’ Umm Salama was known to be beautiful and intelligent as well as an exceptional poet thus many suitors came seeking her hand in marriage. This was also done as a way to honor her husband by taking care of his widow and orphaned children. Both Umar and Abu Bakr proposed marriage but she declined them both.
The prophet, peace to him, then came and also proposed. This time she did not decline, but she hesitated when she considered her age, that she had children and her jealousy (the prophet, peace to him, was polygamous). But he, peace to him, was not concerned with any of these factors, he put her doubts to rest assuring her that he was older than her, would happily take care of her children, and would pray for her concerning her jealously. She accepted his proposal and became not only his wife but a trusted adviser, hadith preserver, and scholar in matters of Fiqh.
May we honor her, pray for her and walk in the footsteps of her exalted status.
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Related:
- Khadija Knew https://bythefigandtheolive.com/khadijahknew/
- The Praying Hands of Juwayriyyah https://bythefigandtheolive.com/juwayriyyah/
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Further Reading/Sources:
- Chapter: What should be said at times of calamity? (2)— Chapter: Closing the eyes of the deceased and supplicating for him, when he dies (4) https://sunnah.com/muslim/11
- Women Around the Messenger by Mohammad ‘Ali Qutb (P.108) http://www.islamicbookstore.com/b10163.html
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