You can’t attach to the goal and remain attached to God.
I’ll share a bit about myself, which I try not to do too often, and that is that I was attached to a goal. Maybe not much to say, aren’t we all? But it only recently dawned on me just how deeply attached I was. I was anxious, could barely get a good night’s rest, and I worried all the time. Praying fervently that God would deliver to me the outcome I so desperately wanted. “You’re getting caught up in the happenings of the world,” said a distant voice. It was my teacher’s, in the background of my mind I heard her repeat those words and had to take a step back. I was living in the world of cause and effect. I was grasping so tightly as if I could bend the will of God to my own desires. I was in a state of panic because I only saw I, and this, and that, and all the “happenings.” ‘Happenings’ shrieks Jim Rohn in his lecture about personal responsibility. “Happenings” happen to everyone, he says, “I use to blame the weather [on his poor financial state] until I realized it rained on the rich too”.
Personal responsibility is needed and necessary. Life was happening to me, I was losing control but I lost control of the only thing I could control; myself. My emotions, my decisions, and most important my tawakkul —or lack thereof. I’d convinced myself that if I didn’t get the outcome I was set on, I’d be finished —ruined. Nothing else would do, it was this or it was nothing. What was happening to me? Deeper and deeper into the happening, into the “story of my life” as my shaykha once said. Isn’t it all so amusing? This, then that, then this, then that… aren’t you entertained? And while you’re so stuck and falling deeper in despair because of the happening God is there, still. And you’re not reaching for Him.
Have you lost faith? Do you truly believe this is it? Do you truly believe that God would forsake you? Leave you alone and destitute? Never relieve you? Maybe this will ruin you, for some time. But maybe on the other side of this is something far better? Or maybe your bearing with patience will beautify you? Or maybe you’ll learn something about who you are, who you could be, and what you can manage to pull through despite yourself? Maybe you are far too noble to attach yourself to a goal, a thing, when you should attach yourself to God alone.
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Related:
- Life is a gift https://bythefigandtheolive.com/lifeisagift/
- In the Absence of Meaning https://bythefigandtheolive.com/absenceofmeaning/
- Alienation and Return (1) https://bythefigandtheolive.com/alienation
Consider picking up a copy of my book, 40 Hadith of ‘Aisha, An English collection of 40 Hadith narrated by the beloved wife, scholar, and sage ‘Aisha bint Abu Bakr, available here. Also, consider signing up for our monthly newsletter here: bythefigandtheolive.com/newsletter. For speaking engagements visit Nuriddeenknight.com
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