What is wrong with me?

November 2, 2014

What is wrong with me?
Is there something I cannot see?
Is there something I do not know?
What is this disease that seems to grow?
And what is this peace I seem to lack
And why the lack of contact
And where do I find you
When I know your always there
And how can I worry when to you I entrust all my care
And where is it that your hiding
And why am I so veiled
And why all this hypocrisy when I know what love entails
And where do you wait for me
In my prayers or in my sleep
Or in my dhikr
Or when I weep
And why am I so distant and you so close to me

What is it I cannot see
And how many appointments have I missed
And how I’ve missed you
And I’ve been drowning without you
I’ve been in this sea
You taught me how to swim but I forgot how to breathe
You gave me everything
So what is it that makes me so unsure
And what do have in store
And how I’m afraid that I won’t last
And how can I account for my past

When the veil is lifted will I be shocked to see the mountains of sin piled up by me
Lord please forgive
I know what to do but I’m trapped in this sea
You threw me a raft
But I can’t quite reach
This life filled with emptiness

And you are supreme

-6/13/2014

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