Instructions of care

June 10, 2016


I always thought that if I had a dog I wouldn’t be one of those people who feels too lazy to walk their dog, clean up its poo, rub its belly or refill its food tray. After all, we all know what is entailed in having a dog if you choose to have one it’s incredibly immoral to not take care of it. But what about the rules entailed in dealing with other people or even with ourselves?

I was reading an article earlier about a reality show stars’ husband telling her he wasn’t attracted to her with a bonnet and that this was at least partly the reason for their lack of intimacy. We all know reality shows often have little to do with reality nevertheless the topic raised some interesting questions for spouses or anyone in hopes of being a spouse one day. In the comment section of the article and the tone of the article’s author it was abundantly clear that the women felt the husband belittled his wife and that the wife was not in the wrong. Some said the bonnet shouldn’t matter others felt it was only an excuse for something else and others felt she should be able to wear whatever she wanted.

In reflecting on it myself I simply conclude that the bonnet or anything else within reason that upsets one’s spouse and puts a strain on one’s marriage should be removed without a second thought. Marriage in our times fails, in my opinion, largely because we no longer know how to be in relationships that involve give and take on the most personal level. But that is what marriage involves, and one who enters a marriage unwillingly to do that is cheating themselves and their partners.

As I attempt to be healthier, the ongoing struggle that it is, I think about the fact that most of us -including myself, know exactly what to do to be healthy. On an even larger scale, I believe we (almost) always know the right thing to do in every part of our life but are simply unwilling to do it. We know how much studying we’ll need to do to pass the class, we know how much effort it will take to get the promotion, we know if when our relationships are failing, we know what foods make us feel sick and which give us energy, we know. But we have to pay attention and we have to act on what we know. And when we don’t we also know the consequences.

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